I have been silent too long. Me-ow!! This is making me very meowd! I have been part of this dogfunctional family since 2010 and have witnessed this canine controlled house first hand. I am the Esgar’s purrfect cat, Pixie, and I have some cat tattle tails to tell you. Let’s start with the “man of the house” Drake who is so scared he barks at his own farts. Lucky he has a deep bark otherwise people would find out that he is a big sissy boy. I purr-posefully walk next to him rubbing against his shaking legs because he knows what my claws can do to him. He avoids me at all costs except when he’s sleeping in bed where I slowly walk over him to get to my dad’s chest. I can see his eyes open in purr fear upon my passing and I make sure he can feel my sharp nails as I step over his helpless body. Mwah haha and meow Drake! When I’m outside in the backyard and I catch a mouse, I show it to him so he can see what I am capable of and it works. He starts to quiver and runs to his mommy like the wussy boy he is. I will sit on the 2nd story of my condo and wait for him to run by so I can swipe at him. If he were a smart dog, something like a German Shepherd, he wouldn’t walk by when I’m perched there but Drake is not a shepherd and is very reckless. Makes my life meow fun!
When I’m not torturing Drake, I push Dazey’s buttons. Oh she thinks she is the cat’s meow but I get her to show her evil side in front of our parents. When mom and dad are on the couch watching TV and Dazey is in the dog bed by the wall unit, I will go sweetly rub against Dazey. This drives her cat crazy and she bears her sabertooth scowl at me. My years at the feline acting school come in handy and I feign fear and then watch the fireworks. Mom and dad scold her for sneering at me and they pull me up on their lap, petting me and murmuring calming words. I sit and stare hard at Dazey letting her know that I have her number and she better watch herself lest she falls down the pecking order to rock bottom. Mwah hahaha and meow Dazey!
Hadley is my only catfident in the house. She lets me rub on her and she cuddles with me when I’m cold. She’s the only canine I can tolerate and I think is worthy of my catpanionship.
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