Hi everyone, Hadley Esgar here. I’m here to write a testimonial for the most wonderful brother a girl could ever wish for. He is so cute and fabuuuuuulous!! I came to live with Drakey and the family at 2 years old from a family who couldn’t juggle two little girls and me. Not sure what the problem was as I was the easiest of all of us. They should have kept me and put those two bratty, snot nosed girls up for adoption! I was and am still the perfect child. I was adopted by the Esgar family because Daddykins thought Drakey needed a precious Boxer sister who he could relate to better than the piece of sheepskin retriever mutt with a princess complex and a rubber toy fetish. Enough about that big biatch, let me tell you all about Drake. He is tall, thin with dark brindle and he is very active. Maybe too active? He barely can sit still following mom and dad no matter if they are simply going to the bathroom. I think he has separation anxiety so I constantly sit and lay next to him.
Aren’t these picture of us fabuuuuuuuulous? We make such a handsome pair as we are soul brother and sister. When I tell Drake so, he just looks at me with those confused eyes then leaps away to see which room mommy is walking into. I think he is shy and has a hard time dealing with his feelings. That’s alright, he’s still the best boxer boy in the world!
Drake is always playing with Dazey chasing after her latest favored rubber toy. Right now it’s this hideous blue ball with little nub legs sticking out the side which gives it a more random bounce. I for one will not put that muddy, germ-filled toy in my mouth let alone robotically chase back and forth for hours without reason. It’s below my station in life and it’s below Drakey’s too but he won’t listen to me and keeps playing with that flea bag muppet who’s a poor excuse of a sister. He isn’t stupid like her but I think he likes to stay in shape and it’s really the only way to get serious cardio in during those dog days of winter. It’s the fact he plays with her all the time that makes me INSANE. I want him to cuddle up with me on the couch all day but he will get down and grab the toy from her. She follows him until she can steal it out of his mouth and then he stands and stares at her and the toy for hours. He only comes back to me when he needs a nap and wants to curl up and sleep. She thinks she can woo him with those soft brown eyes, long, athletic legs and her fluffy tail that fans like peacock feathers. She prances around the house with the toy on purpose knowing he will follow her, like a lost boxer puppy, because she enjoys torturing me. It puts me in an emotional state and I give her one of my looks that my parents call the homicidal stare which makes them freak out sternly calling our names and standing between us.
I simply walk away quietly laughing with the voices in my head.
My “homicidal” stare
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